I had a hellish pregnancy. If you aren’t new to my blog, you are well aware of this. So when people began warning me of the 4th trimester late into my pregnancy, I pretty much put my fingers in my ears. I didn’t want to hear it. Then the baby came and I was so busy with learning about nursing and baby schedules. I was also in the tumult of redefining who I am – a mother, and easing into that new identity.
The days and nights went on and on. The baby was attached to me and I to him. My husband was supportive and would give a break every now and then by watching the baby so I could go to Target by myself. I learned I needed to get gallbladder surgery, and faced a good amount of meshugas to get it done close to my parents’ house, so I could have help caring for the baby while I was recovering.
After Thanksgiving, we came back home. The feeling was wonderful to finally be back in a comfortable, familiar place, and we were alone again. I had feared the feeling the entire time I was staying with my parents. No one ever told me motherhood was so lonely. This is why people spend gobs of money on mommy and me classes – just to make new friends. How do people with new babies make friends they can actually spend time with? My baby’s neck isn’t strong enough to take him to the park and push him on the swings, so I can’t meet people there. I’ve met a few people in mommy groups on Facebook, but still, the stark reality that you are so very along with a child who is so very needy is difficult. I believe people call it the Baby Blues.
But now that the first 3 months are over, S is getting better at holding up his head, he’s developing a little personality, and becoming more fun to bring around our non-parent friends. Also, laying the foundation of a good schedule helps when we choose to be a little more flexible with feeding times. Embracing this new identity definitely starts with changing my hair, which I did, see? It’s lavender and silver highlights. I love it.
I’ve also reached out to MOPS, but no one in southern California will get back to me. If I don’t hear anything back, maybe it will come down to spending gobs of money of mommy and me groups. In any case, I’m declaring that this fourth trimester is OVER! It’s time to get out. Time to make new friends, and put every effort figure out who I am as Miri the Mommy. Wish me luck! Pictured below: S with his great-great-Aunt Betty.
On a more serious note, the terrorist attack in San Bernardino was so close to our home, and at such a mundane, everyday place. Friends of friends were lost in that tragedy. It’s a reminder to take no day for granted. My family is safe and sound, and I treasure each day I have with them.