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5 Confessions of a Working Mom

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Confessions of a Working Mom

My son is 11 months old today.

Confessions of a Working Mom

In just one month he will no longer be a baby, but a toddler. I can already see it. When he crawls around his body looks more like a little boy body than a little baby body.

Confessions of a Working Mom

He already said his first words: Hi Doggie.

We can talk to him and he understands us, and sometimes I’m convinced that he knows he’s disobeying us.

Confessions of a Working Mom

He has developed enough to be dangerous, but not enough to where he can sneak off on his own.

He’s 23 pounds, 99% for height, 70% for weight and 99% for head size.

Confessions of a Working Mom

It’s also been about 4 months since I re-entered the workforce. These are a few confessions that are true for my daily life.

1.) Sometimes I can’t wait to leave the house. When I know that the baby didn’t get enough sleep or will be cranky all day, I’m glad to go. I hate that, because I really do get sad when I kiss him goodbye, but I think every mom has moments when she would rather be somewhere else, anywhere else.

Confessions of a Working Mom

2.) While at work, I think about the time wasted. I wonder what milestones I’m missing, the hours that I’m not witnessing him grow up. Of course, what I’m doing is providing for him, but most of the time I feel like some sort of mother failure. Part of my job is to talk to moms on Twitter all day. Usually I talk to stay-at-home-moms who are having a rough go of it, and give them encouragement. This makes my heart break. I know that if I were in the same position I’d be just as frustrated, and I long to be in the same position.

3.) Sometimes I wish I had my lunch hour to myself. I go home at lunch, and see my son during that time. There have been several occasions when I just wanted to go to Target and browse by myself. Then I think about Confession #2, and I drive home – even if there is something I really, really need from Target.

Confessions of a Working Mom

4.) I wonder if he knows who I am. When I was at home and breastfeeding, there was no doubt who I was. I was Mommy, 100%. Now we’re not breastfeeding, and he sees me for about 3 hours everyday. What does that make me to him? Am I the one who carried him for 9 months, or am I no different than the volunteers at our congregation’s nursery?

5.) I wonder if I know who I am. When I am home, it feels more comfortable to let my husband take the lead with this parenting thing. It’s like I don’t know how to mom anymore. My spidey-senses are off. In fact, the only time when I feel completely confident is when he his hardcore teething. He’ll wake up crying about 11pm, and I’ll rock him until he calms down. It’s the one time when it feels like he just needs me, and I secretly love it.

Confessions of a Working Mom

They are only small for so long. Just doing my best to cling to each moment.

13 Comments

  1. As a working mom of two I can totally relate to all of this… I still feel like I can relate to some of these and my kids are 3 and 7. Great post!

  2. McKinzie @Moms Make Cents says

    This definitely tugs at the heart strings! I work from home, but there are still so many times that I feel like I am not giving him the attention he needs. But at the end of the day when my son come up to me and gives me a hug I just can feel it in his heart that he loves me as much as I love him!

  3. This is a lovely post and a true honest reflection of being a working mum. You are often guilty about wanting time to yourself but missing so much. At the end of the day they know that you love them and everything you do is for them. My kids are older and they now understand why mummy and daddy go to work and we teach them it is so we can give them and our family the best life possible. He will understand that too one day. But also let yourself have that stroll through the shops one day too because you also deserve that time for you as well. 🙂

    • mirinadler says

      I’ve been thinking about your comment all week (my comment plugin was buggy, so I didn’t get to comment til now). I took an hour after work to walk around the store. Thank you!

  4. Thanks for sharing! It’s so hard being a working mom but if you are thinking about all these things then you are doing a great job!

  5. Rachel Catherine says

    Being a working mom is so tough. I feel you. When breastfeeding ended recently I was sad and wrote about it on the blog. When I had to give him formula for the first time after going back to work I bawled. It’s so hard. Hugs mama.

  6. So honest and insightful. I was a SAHM with baby #1 and worked part time with baby #2. I can relate to the feeling of wanting to stay home but at the same time, wanting to leave. I honestly think I was happiest when I had a few hours to myself but got to also spend time with the babies. I guess we can’t always have it all. Thanks for sharing. This is something I’m going to have to deal with soon when baby #3 comes in two weeks.

    • mirinadler says

      You are so welcome. As my LO gets more active, I’m more and more comfortable with going to work, lol!

  7. Kayla Greenstone says

    Wow – I relate to this so so much. I found your blog through “growing social media” faceobook group. I often write about working mom-isms too. Its so weird how when we’re at home with them we sometimes can’t wait to leave the house, even if it’s to go to work. Then, when we are at work we feel guilty and miss them. Sometimes I feel like we can’t win, we can just do our best. Thanks for sharing, mama!

    <3 Kayla
    http://www.runningwithstrollers.com

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